The Quandary

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Location: Minneapolis

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

When we danced in that communal place...

If happiness were truly caught, they'd find
That harsh would trade for supple and sublime.
For when we danced in that communal place,
'Twas sadness, wist and worry were replaced.
For longed I just to hold her precious hand,
But silent music's gentle dance was planned.
'Twas weeks and months I turned her form around
And seemed unending that we gently kissed.
And with one motion quickly off the ground
I held the one whom I had greatly missed.
Then softly as I held her gentle wrist
I hid a tear behind a loving kiss

A kiss before was so unlike this gift
By which I did my love to her impart…
And when at last my eyes did slowly lift
I felt abundant love pour from her heart.

How happy, I, who never could have dreamt
To find a one whose heart made mine content,
That looked I long into her peaceful eyes
And kissed them both in peaceful, soft replies.
A smile so tender came upon her lips--
So sweetly sad we knew that we would part--
I greeted them to give a tender kiss
And held her close, that she could feel my heart.
And held her there until she would depart.

So far away I dream of her so dear
And wish to find a way to hold her near…
To see that smile so tender on her lips,
And greet her tender smile with tender kiss
Then softly just to hold her gentle wrist
And hide a tear behind a loving kiss...
Such happy tears behind a loving kiss.


Monday, September 04, 2006

"I dreamt a dream of dark and rolling fog..."

I dreamt a dream of dark and rolling fog
Upon and through the grasses of a field
That traveled past and caused my thoughts to jog
On mem’ries lost and feelings that were sealed
In doubt and fear that they could not be healed.
Such fog to bring these mem'ries back from deep
And cause my heart to leap at secrets I should keep.

And in that cautious state I met a man:
A man in whom was certain I could trust…
And in that trust I found my words began:
“Although I know you not, I know I must
Confide to you such things should be discussed.”
And at that time I found I could reveal
Those things I would conceal for fear they never heal.

The man then turned his aged eyes to me
And spoke as though he heard not what I said.
For what had I presumed that he could see,
This man who knew not what was in my head?
But just as soon I knew I could be dead
And no one then would ever hear that truth:
The stories and the truth and follies of my youth.

I spoke to him again and told him how
My life had come and gone and now was spent
For poorest choice and darkest, painful vow:
A secret kept while given my consent;
A secret swept beneath a carpet crept
Up o’er my life and confidence coerced...
Now half my life traversed, I find my travels cursed.

Once again this aged fool did turn
And spake to me in such an open way:
No wrinkled brow nor sign of such concern;
No lowered voice or dread did he convey;
Although, unholy truth did he betray
When spake he of those things I did reveal,
And for my faults did he to Providence appeal.

In fear and dread I begged him to desist
To Holy ears could not my tale be told,
For life indeed would cease if he insist
And find me cast beyond the darkest cold;
If Providence my truths would yet behold.
When silence at my heartfelt pleas was not
Yet given unto me I knew all hope forgot.

So listened I unto his honest tongue
That told the Father what this heart had done,
That told the pain and mis’ry it had brung,
That spoke those words ‘twould never be undone;
It seemed at last fair justice had begun.
And when at once the shadowed fog rolled back
I knew no punishment nor consequence would lack.

But then I found it with these weary eyes
That from that dream so fearful I awoke.
I heard the voice that Providence devised
Would serve to speak to mortals when he spoke.
The words it gave these tears it did provoke,
And silence filled my chamber as it left,
And left this soul divested, broken and bereft.

The silence hanging then provoked my thoughts
That nothing could have given me the same
As what it was wise Providence had brought:
A freedom and forgiveness for my name
That could restore and mend this broken frame.
And then I knew what truly I once lost:
What price my life had cost, what love would not exhaust.

In silence lost and darkness wrapped I wept
To think that one so broken had been freed.
Then slowly up forgotten feelings crept:
This conscience and those feelings then agreed
By freedom would this life sustained be.
A warming sun then shone through shutters drawn,
And welcomed me on that the first of many dawn.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

"When nights suspend by burdened thought"

When nights suspend by burdened thought,
With loneliness is my heart fraught.
When thoughts of you would touch my heart,
It brings me tears that we would part.
When wake I from my dreams of you,
My heart is grieved to see it through.
Such sadness has but shown my mind
This heart hast found that special love.
Though when in love you gaze I find
‘Tis sorrow that I’m set above.
Yet in your absence, I will love,
For ‘twas your heart I did await,
Whose love would touch my soul, my fate.

But when you part I pray for sleep,
For when you’re gone I fear so much.
I pray at night your heart to keep.
‘Tis for your love I pray too much.
For if it’s found that I could know
How your heart pains, it would be so
That I could let these worries go
And once again could find some rest…
But was it then I slept the best?
When there was none whose love I missed
Did I not pray to dream of this?
And when I laid awake each night,
Would I not long for love so bright?
Did anguish haunt my ev’ry night?

So when I pause to think of you,
I pray in thanks for love so true.
Forget I such a pain as this
As when I find your love I miss.
With joy I pray and thank the Lord
That I am in your eyes adored;
That through the pain and through the tears,
You’d hold me tight and face our fears;
That when I find myself distressed,
You rest your head upon my chest.
You feel my heart and know my thoughts
And guide my soul so lovingly.
You show me how in love you’re caught:
Beneath my arm, you’re caught with me.
You give me love, though I could not
Believe with me your love was bought.
But now I feel it in your kiss
That such a love sublime is this...
In such a simple, brilliant kiss,
That such a love sublime is this.